Sunday, August 29th, 2010 at
4:47 am
Question by Joker 1: Blonde Jokes 4U ;o)?
Buffy, a blonde, needed some extra cash, so she begged her friend at the highway department for a job – any job at all.
“Sure,” he said. “I always have job openings to paint the lines down the center of the roads. Would you be interested in painting stripes?”
Buffy agreed and began working immediately. The first day she painted five miles of stripes. The next day she painted three miles. But on the third day, she only painted one mile of stripes.
The supervisor took Buffy aside and asked her what was wrong. “You worked so hard and painted so fast the first couple of days. Why are you working so slowly now?”
Buffy replied, “Because the bucket keeps getting farther away.”
There were three women were at their gynecologist having pre-natal checkups. The doctor asked the first woman, “In what position was the baby conceived?”
“He was on top,” the first woman replied. “You will have a boy!” the doctor exclaimed.
The second woman was asked the same question. “I was on top,” was the reply. “You will have a baby girl,” said the doctor.
With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears. “Whats the matter?” asked the doctor.
The blonde replied, “Oh no! Am I going to have puppies?
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”
The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”
The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”
“All right. How long do you need them?” asked the clerk.
The customer paused for a minute and said, “Uh … I’d better go check.”
After a while, the blonde man returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”
There were three women waiting to be executed: A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde. It was an old-fashioned execution. Of course, these women didn’t want to die, so they needed a plan. The redhead said, “I have an idea. Follow my lead.”
So, when it was time for the redhead’s execution, the man put on her blindfold and made her line up against a wall. “Do you have any last words?” he asked. “No.” she replied.
“Okay then. We’re set. Ready. Aim … ”
“TORNADO!” the redhead yelled out, pointing. The gunmen all turned around, and she escaped!
The brunette and blonde saw this. So, when it was time for the brunette’s execution, the man put on her blindfold and made her line up against a wall. “Do you have any last words?” he asked. “No.” she replied. “Okay then. We’re set. Ready. Aim … ”
“FLOOD!” the brunette yelled out, pointing. The gunmen all turned around, and she escaped, too!
Now the blonde understood this. So, when it was time for the blonde’s execution, the man put on her blindfold and made her line up against a wall. “Do you have any last words?” he asked. “No.” she replied. “Okay then. We’re set. Ready. Aim … ”
“FIRE!” …
Best answer:
Answer by Answer Schmancer
I like the first and third jokes the best
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!